Success: Conceiving, Believing, And Achieving What It Really Means by Leslie Juvin-Acker
January 21, 2016
Success. It has so many definitions. Depending on your culture and your upbringing, what it looks and feels like could be totally different than what I believe success to be.The most important question when it comes to the discussion of success and achievement is, “How will you know when you’ve achieved it?”
This simple question forces us to examine what we believe about success, how much of our ideals are preprogrammed by our culture and conditioning, and how attainable success really is. This question alone can break our perceptions as to what we can conceive and achieve.
Conceiving | Believing | Achieving
Napoleon Hill once said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve regardless of how many times you have failed in the past.”
There are times in our lives in which our perception of ourselves has become so narrow, so dulled and hazy that we can’t even stretch our minds to conceive, as in imagine, ourselves and our lives as any different than what it has historically been. We walk, hypnotized into an oddly comfortable, yet disserving pattern of self sabotage, missing opportunities that present themselves all around us.
My first job as a coach is to shift your state of mind, your framing of the world, and introduce, based on what you subconsciously expresses, a totally different possibility. Now, wait a minute, Leslie. I imagine great things for myself all of the time: the new house, the dream spouse, and the great job! I get you, we’ve all been told to focus on what we want as that’s how we achieve these experiences. True, true. But bear with me, we’re just halfway there...
What if we could reexamine all of the real reasons why we believe we need something and, in doing so, realize that we could very well attain our desired experiences in a variety of other ways? The point is, when we can examine the whys, new “hows” seem to become much easier to conceive.
For example one might say to me, “I need a new job because I don’t get paid enough and it doesn’t challenge me anymore.”
“Because I don’t have enough money to travel and I need new professional challenges so that I can feel valued.”
Why do you need to travel and feel valued at your work?
“Because I need a constant sense of change, newness, and adventure and I want to know that my life will make a difference along the way.”
This conversation can go on and on. And, guess what? I bet you can already think of ways that this client could explore, experience new horizons, and get a sense of personal fulfillment out of their work and life just by this short conversation alone. Maybe this client ends up getting a new job as a travel guide in a different country… maybe they manage to achieve a management position where they get paid to travel… or, maybe this person quits their job and works for the peace corps instead… who knows! This exercise is meant to challenges our ability to conceive different possibilities.
Conceiving new possibilities comes by challenging our old beliefs and paradigms. Why? How? What if? If I did know, what would I know? We seem to accept our beliefs as the rules of the game and we must play by them if we are to get what we want out of life. In the words of Dwight Schrute, “False!”
Fact: We can change “the rules”, our beliefs, at any time - and this alone changes the playing field of possibilities. Quite simply, so says we have to do things this way?
Challenging old paradigms and breaking through them offers a renewed sense of purpose and belief in ourselves - that “Hey, yeah, I can” moment! I can totally go for that promotion! I can definitely be seen at work operating in a different capacity than I am now. I can trust myself to start a company. Not only can I, but I believe I can!
So, when you’re sitting down with your list of goals and thinking about how you’ll go about making your life a success, examine for a moment what success really means and what you really need to feel happy, safe, and appreciated at work and in life. How will I really know when I have achieved success? How will it feel? What will it take? Do I really need to do it this way?
What if I tried it another way? Success. Conceive it and believe it. You can and will achieve it.
Coach Leslie’s Questions To Ask Ourselves:
1. Thinking quickly, what have I been wanting to achieve lately? List two to three things.
2. How will I know when I have achieved success? What will it look like, feel like, sound like?
3. Why do I need to achieve these things? Are they necessary for true happiness, safety, and love?
4. When did I suddenly believed that I had to experience these things? What was I really trying to get for myself out at the moment of conception that idea?
5. What are the unwritten rules to the game for me to achieve my goals? For example, do I have to stay at this job for x amount of time? Do I have to put up with a mean boss? Do I have to live in this city? What are the things we believe we have to do/experience/have before we get that success?
6. What if I could change the rules and achieve my vision of success, and still enjoy the experience, in a different way?
7. How does my action plan look different now, having asked myself these aforementioned questions?